a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You are the jesus of drinking
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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