After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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