I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
