The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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