Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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