it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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