what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I have aggressive nipples.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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