kristin has been a bad kristin
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
