Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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