hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
