Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
