his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
