SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
