I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
