She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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