No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Randomize
