A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
