I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize