Say something about gay babies.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
