thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
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