This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
My pussy is not your playground.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
