They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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