I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Randomize
