I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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