she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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