i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
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