I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
