She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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