i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
