Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
So much rum. So many feels.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
