Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Randomize
