don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
