just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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