we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
