so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
