She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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