I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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