What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
And then my night got REAL pukey
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
