We're facebook friends in real life
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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