dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
