im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
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