Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
