What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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