Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
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