so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
