Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize