What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
