At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
