He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
