Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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