How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
