I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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