Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
