I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
