if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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