Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
