Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
where are you?
Hypothermia
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
