GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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