Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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