i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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