oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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