is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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