My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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