I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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