i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
