1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I fill condoms, not promises.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
