I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
