We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
