Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
