That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
